Here is a piece of conversation between a man and a woman, that I happened to assist a few years ago:
- “I could never cheat on my husband, no matter what!
- How do you know? When was the last time you went out by yourself, no kid or husband?
- Believe me, I had plenty of opportunities, but I wouldn’t be able to forget that I am married.
- Well… you think he is as faithful as you are?
- Yes, I know my husband and he would never cheat on me!
- What if he does? Some people live together for a life time and still don’t know anything about each other.
- So what if he ever cheats? I hope I will never find out. What I don’t know, can’t hurt me.”
I personally, never liked this saying:”What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” For me it even sounds scary. If I ever reach that point when I say those words, I must be very aware of the fact that he might cheat. This is my opinion. Only a woman that knows her man is able to do that, will say these words and this way, she practically refuses to admit a fact.
I think that women (or maybe even men) say this when they are referring to a “one time mistake”. You say to yourself it happened one time and you are able to pretend it never happened. O.k. I think you might be able to forget about the mistake, even if you would find out, but let me ask you a question: what if the man next to you is practically in love with some one else, but he doesn’t want to let go of the relationship/marriage you two have? Do you still think the same? That if you didn’t find out, it wouldn’t hurt you?
You won’t find out this year, but what about the next one? What if you find out one day? It will hurt, no? I think that it is very hard for people to keep this kind of secrets and eventually you will find out and feel damaged. If the secret is safe, you might be right, you “tricked” the pain. But wouldn’t you like TO KNOW? I would. And I believe in those women that “feel” the man next to them and notice when there is something going on. So, when you “smell” the secret, ask, talk, communicate! Don’t just shut up, knowing that there is something going on, but you are afraid to say something because he might walk away! Reach out and find out! Isn’t it better for you to find out on time? Before it developes into something bigger and ends up by hurting you 10.000 times more later?
I saw once a guy (whose girlfriend I knew), hitting on one of the girls in the club. He told me later when I was making fun of his “naughty” behaviour, that this was the way he actually met the girlfriend, cheating on another one, that the “present” one has an idea about his ways, but she thinks that, if she never finds out, she won’t be hurt. Well… in this case, I say the woman knows what she has “at her door step” and she might be doing the same! But how can I tell the “Casanova” that her girlfriend might be having the same “rituals”? And shutter his fantasy, in which he is the “playboy” who does everything he likes and comes home to this nice, good, angel girl?
The conclusion that I am reaching is that it hurts anyway. Maybe not today, but tomorrow. It hurts when you find out and it might hurt as you don’t know, but you suspect there is something going on.
I am sorry that the “cheating” example was the only thing I commented here, among the things we might NOT KNOW, but I don’t want to write untill tomorrow.
I offered my opinion on this expression. You might not agree, so, feel free to “attack”. I like contradictory conversations. Bring it on! 
Cheers!
Nice write up!
For myself I believe we have to respect the partner’s feelings. If it is okay for him / her to flirt or even “cheat” in a physical way then its okay. If not you should think again. Thats all.
In my personal experience (not that much) the “cheating” is not a pain – the problem is when something more serious comes in, when you feel losing your partner’s love. But thats just me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
See? Different points of view. Interesting. For you not “cheating” is the pain, but losing your partner’s love (maybe from other reasons). For me, cheating means exactly, losing the partner’s love.
Liked your comment. It shows that everything depends on the way each of us is “built” and the different types of relationships we engage in.
Thanks!
Hristos a inviat ! i`m first~!
Adevarat a inviat! Paste fericit si numai bine, domnu’! Te pup!
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raspunde-mi si mie pe blog, la un topic.please.
raspunde-mi si mie la ultimul comentariu de la topicul ala:) cu pricina, p.s. ti-am dat add pe Y dar nu ai raspuns, sau acceptat, nimik
I wouldn’t see anything wrong with cheating if it could be guaranteed that the person will never suspect or find out and thus not suffer as a result. If I’m not aware that my wife is cheating it doesn’t exist to me. There’s no problem from my p.o.v.